Archive for June, 2009

camouflage

24Jun09

I realized yesterday just how much I’ve become attached to being able to blend in here. I had dinner with a friend from the US yesterday; this friend has a particularly American presence. Tall, slightly louder on public transit, friendly in that very American way, among other subtleties. I focus on presence here because I […]


Per usual, now that the end is in sight of this research trip, I’m upping my game. If I want to be successful in this profession, I have to stop lazing about until I have two or three months left and then clicking into gear. I’m not sure if I’ve gained actual weight but I’ve […]


but I think I might have a good (and not just functional) relationship with an advisor who has my back and is excited about my work. And I haven’t switched advisors. I’m overwhelmed by this new development and somewhat dazed but I can’t deny it anymore: we’ve turned a corner and now things are good, […]


Yesterday I had coffee with one of my male friends at a cafe where a very hot man works. I’ve been to this place before but I’d never seen this guy. And, as would be my luck, I was with a man. I looked at this guy repeatedly during my conversation with my friend and […]


breaktime

07Jun09

It should come as no surprise to longtime readers that I have a hard time taking care of myself. I work, work, work until I can’t any more, at which point months can go by without much productiveness. The idea of taking a break is foreign to me. My family never took vacations. We were […]


Since this is an academic blog in theory, I should say a little about how I’ve been progressing on my dissertation. Except that progress has been quite slow, mainly (though not solely) because I still haven’t figured out a way to avoid allowing my recurring and crippling bouts of intense loneliness to lead to complete […]