nothing much to say…


other than this depression business is a motherfucker.

Also, perhaps you should rethink going to graduate school when you’re single and have no family support. It’s not meant for people who are alone in life.


7 Responses to “nothing much to say…”

  1. 1 whitheramp

    i think we’ve learned a valuable life lesson from all this, which is: when given the choice in considering grad schools between financial security versus potential for fabulous social life, one should always choose the latter. because if you’re not getting a job anyway, you should at least be some place fun.

  2. 2 Deborah

    “if you’re not getting a job anyway, you should at least be some place fun.” Amen to that, except everyone around me either seems too busy to have fun or just as miserable as I am.

    On the subject of support, I’m not single, but my significant other works outside academia. It still gets pretty lonely, because there are just some things he does not understand, as much as he tries. My bitterness and frustration and exhaustion and sense of alienation from the profession right now, coupled with a class I’m teaching that has one of the worst group vibes ever…..every day I wake up thinking about how soon I will be able to get out.

  3. I have to disagree with Deborah. My partner currently does not work outside the home. When she did work she was a security guard. Not only does she not work in academia, but she does not have any university degrees. So while she is a lot smarter than me, she is fluently bilingual, she is certainly not an academic. I greatly enjoy coming home to a household where I can leave academics behind.

  4. 4 Deborah

    J. Otto Pohl, I wasn’t suggesting I wanted to bring “academics” home with me in the sense of academic subject matter. My partner is very intelligent and could have become an academic if he’d wanted to, but, fortunately for him, he was smart enough not to go down that road. What I was referring to was that he doesn’t really udnerstand the scope of my frustrations with the job market. I’m not complaining about or criticizing this lack of understanding but just adding to what thefrogprincess is saying about how isolating graduate school can be. You get to the end of 8-10 years of study and training, confront the dearth of jobs, and find yourself questioning your own talent, worth, and past decisions. It’s a very isolating thing to go through, even if you have people in your life who care about and support you.

  5. and that is why you have this little corner of the internet…to not be alone!!! totally there with you on the whole grad school thing!

  6. (followed you from psycgrrrl) Depression and academics are a rough mix, even after grad school. Even family support can leave you feeling lonely when they just don’t get it. (I still can’t explain to my parents what I do. I stopped trying.) As for a spouse, well he’s just starting his BA so he really didn’t understand it either. Not trying to compare wounds, just saying that the grass isn’t always greener. Jen’s right. That’s why I started blogging in the first place.

    Just think of this–spring is around the corner…that’s what I’m trying to remember.

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