and on…

02Apr10

It doesn’t seem possible but things have gotten so much worse. Much much worse. None of it is my fault but things have deteriorated to an unimaginable degree. I’m not giving up; the worse it gets, the more determined I get. But things are looking incredibly bleak. That is all.

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2 Responses to “and on…”

  1. I’m so sorry.

  2. 2 Deborah

    I’m sorry things are so bad. Don’t give up!

    I know it’s impossible to compare situations because of the need for anonymity, but I reached a point last year when I just wanted to run away and escape everything. I felt that way every day. And so I started running. Literally. I’d never been very athletic or much into exercise of any kind, but it was incredibly theraputic at the time. I’d get up in the morning, and before I could start feeling like crap and beating myself up for what was not my fault, I’d go out and run. I didn’t keep track of distance or time but just went out and ran until I couldn’t run any more. The illusion of escape was soothing, and the physical benefits helped me stay calm and helped prevent me from further turning my frustrations with external things inward.

    Maybe you could find a distracting activity that would help in a similar way? I more or less gave up running after that semester, but yoga has taken its place. I’m not sure how I would have survived these last few months without it.


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